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Anybody who ever watched “Reno 911” and wondered what an X-rated version of the sitcom might be like has found their answer. The brand spanking new “Busty Cops On Patrol” is a sexy, silly feature that will have you busting a gut laughing at some moments while you’re busting a nut for its gorgeous cast of girls with whopper racks. This isn’t the first porn flick featuring horny female police officers, but it’s one of the best. And because it’s an Elegant Angel production, you know these girls are up for something a little bit raunchy.
Gianna Michaels and Charlie Chase are on patrol first. They pull over a guy in a truck with a broken taillight and a half dozen or so sex toys on the passenger seat. He has a story about how he dropped his girlfriend off at her house but she forgot the toys. This scenario is abandoned for a more promising one when the officers get a call about a flasher. Steve Holmes is chilling at home with his dick hanging out of his shorts (like you do) and he can’t see why the officers want him to put it away – he wonders if they have a problem with cocks. “Do we look like we have a problem with cocks?” Gianna asks with a knowing look at Charlie. Steve challenges them to prove that they like dicks. While explaining that he can’t go around exposing himself outside but it’s OK to “stroke yourself in the privacy of your own home,” Gianna rubs his leg and arm in ways that suggest she’s about to take him up on his challenge. Charlie, meanwhile, wants to touch that well-displayed sausage. It’s so big that it’s no wonder he literally can’t keep it in his pants. When Steve admires their racks and says they’ve got a lot to show as well, Gianna decides to lock the door and shut the blinds. Charlie rationalizes that as long as they’re out of uniform, they’re not cops. The girls take turns trying to fit as much of Steve’s huge cock in their mouths as possible. Charlie is first to ride it, and Gianna uses her nightstick to play with Charlie’s bouncing tits. Then Steve licks their pussies side by side, long enough to taste them, and it’s Gianna’s turn to feel that dick. Gianna is a dirty talker with a neatly trimmed bush just on her mound and creamy-pale, huge natural breasts that fly up and down hypnotically while she fucks him. Charlie’s titties are great, but it’s Gianna’s majestic rack that nobody can keep their hands off of, including Gianna herself at times. Probably the hottest configuration is Gianna in cowgirl, Charlie sitting on Steve’s face, and the girls playing with each other’s boobs, followed by Steve fucking Gianna doggy style while her tits rub against Charlie’s clit and she sucks Charlie’s pierced nipples. After Steve gets both girls off, they have a hot threeway kiss as he jerks himself into an orgasm. He gives each girl a piece of his load and they share it with a steamy cum-swapping kiss that will have you exploding, if you somehow didn’t yet. What a way to start a movie: an energetic, fun threeway with two sexy lady cops who bust the buttons on their uniform shirts!
Cranky lady cop Jada Fire and her buffoonish partner have a total Keystone Cops moment in which a suspect manages to run away because he isn’t cuffed and Jada’s partner can’t get out his car keys in time to chase him down. Later that night, Jada blows off steam with a suspect (Alec Knight) who has drunkenly set off a silent alarm at a warehouse. Alec swears he owns the place and that he’s crashing here because he lost his house due to the economy. Jada sends the partner off to “get some doughnuts or something.” Her partner might be bumbling, but he’s no dummy. He knows what Jada’s got planned, but as he says, “that’s life in the big city, and I do like doughnuts” (the best line of the movie). Back inside, Jada tells Alec he’d better sober up and take care of her. Alec can’t believe it at first, but he’s not too drunk to fuck. He frees her tits and suckles those famous dark chocolate nipples. Jada wastes no time taking out his dick and warming him up with a wet blowjob. They make their way to a couch (so Alec wasn’t lying about crashing here) where Jada spreads ‘em and gets the fuck she’s been wanting all night. As long as he doesn’t call her baby, it’s all right. It’s a nice contrast to the playful mood of the first scene, because sometimes you’re in the mood for an angry fuck. Alec shoots his load on her face like Jada asks him to, but then she gets mad when he gets it too close to her eye. She looks like the glazed doughnut that her partner is chowing down on in a doughnut shop somewhere else in the city at that moment.
Those are just two of five hot scenes that make up the film, all of them well worth your load. Cocky, crooked cop Anthony Rosano talks his way into his new partner’s pants – rookie Claire Dames is married but looking to advance in the department, so she finds herself doing some pretty raunchy things, including ass-to-mouth. In another scene, while preparing for a prostitution sting, undercover cop Kagney Linn Karter is really good at playing the stereotypical dumb blonde. Out on the street at night, James Deen picks her up and she gets him to drive her to the designated hotel room. The thing is, Kagney’s having so much fun she forgets the code word, and the cops watching the footage are enjoying the show. “We need more evidence,” says the head cop. “I’ll fire her after it’s over, but we can get his ass.” Closing out the movie, L.T. Turner, as the lieutenant, chews out several of the cops and assigns them ticket duty, but he wants to see Shyla Stylez alone because she’s doing an especially bad job. He wants to stick her with desk duty for two months to see if she can improve her job performance, but Shyla sucks and fucks her way down to a week.
From the beginning all the way to the hilarious “Cops”-spoofing theme song that runs over the closing credits, director William H. Nutsack has brought us a great new fantasy about the girls in blue. “Busty Cops On Patrol” is another example of the refreshing current trend in funny porn.