Pornstar WorkoutFavorites [+]
Every few years it seems there is some workout fad that becomes the latest, greatest fat reducing, waist cinching, butt blasting video. It’s full of tanned women in tight leotards, with plastered smiles on their faces, making very difficult maneuvers look ridiculously simple. Because it promises quick results in time for summer it is tempting enough to make you bite the bullet and shell out the asking price. But, two minutes in, you’re out of breath, hating life, suffering from a humbled ego and possible hamstring pull and the producers didn’t even have the decency to throw in some gratuitous shots of skin to make it worth your while.
Released by Elegant Angel, “Pornstar Workout” is the workout video that you’ve been waiting to see for quite some time. Filled with an all-star cast of hotties, in ever lessening degrees of leotard-ness, the five scenes in PW are sure to crank up the blood flow into your target zone with a workout regimen that is not only fun to do, but fun to watch as well. That is important because most workout videos get used once before becoming high-priced drink coasters or dust bunny breeding grounds. Not this one.
PW starts off with the amazing trifecta of Ava Rose, Kristina Rose and Sunny Lane working up a sweat, performing scissor kicks, pelvic thrusts and other wacky calisthenics to the driving beat wafting from an old boom box like something out of a Paula Abdul video. The camera angles give you a solid view of arguably the best asses in the business and their camel toe muscles in motion. The fact that the women have poor depth perception and somehow can’t hit their mouths with the water from their squeeze bottles makes cool down near impossible, but they’re about to get sweaty all over again anyway. At the far end of the room, Manuel Ferrera’s huge cock and a plush couch await. Yes, even a vacant dance studio somehow has a convenient couch on which to fuck. The three women triangulate Manuel’s face, rubbing their sweaty cheeks all over his face. Kristina sucks his piston-sized girth as Ava finger fucks Sunny. Sunny joins the cock sucking festivities while Ava munches Kristina’s ass. Later in the scene, the feel of Manuel’s huge cock pumping her doggy style causes Kristina to scream to the heavens, making it difficult to revel in a three-way tongue kiss. The feat is accomplished no less. All three finish a great opening scene by putting their heads together, literally, and taking stream after sustained stream of Manuel’s thick cum onto their faces. Even Ava has to remark at the volume of creamy goo his hyperactive dick generates.
Perhaps the best scene involves Miss Everything right now, Jenna Haze teamed up with Tori Black. Jenna’s petite little frame has always looked great as has Tori’s complete package, but whether it’s the flood of natural light penetrating the room or the rush of blood coursing through their skin from their yoga routine, both women look as good as you’ve ever seen them on film. The two show off an insane level of flexibility, developing their chakras with various poses like the Baddhas Bodhi, the Yumi Vadgina and the Phukma Thaitass. The subliminal imagery contained in the names drive Tori to the brink. She relieves her pressure by ducking behind Jenna and tonguing her limber ass. Flipping her over, Tori plunges her mouth once again onto Jenna’s tight pussy. In what seems to be a growing trend, Jenna sports a rather full, yet nicely trimmed retro bush. Jenna gives as good as she gets, fingering Tori to the edge before pulling her back and sharing a passionate kiss. With both of their libidos in overdrive, Mark Ashley arrives on scene (as does another magical couch) to finish what they started. The two women sample his throbbing dick right before Jenna mounts his face. As Ashley gnaws at her clit like a beaver on meth, Tori lavishes heaps of tongue and throat onto his swollen prick. Jenna then takes his meaty dick from behind while she further explores Tori’s pleasure center with her mouth. There is a great scene here of Tori getting ramrodded to orgasm, but she is allowed to cum only on Jenna’s command. Jenna willfully keeps Tori in a blissful holding pattern until she mercifully gives the word. Tori unleashes her torrent of pussy juice all over Ashley’s cock. The scene comes to a scintillating close as Jenna begs for cum. Her ass and Tori’s face get soiled by a messy wad of goo.
If you last this far, it is an amazing feat, though you’re nowhere near out of the woods. Avy Scott makes a triumphant return doing a threeway with big butt queen Alexis Texas and Mr. Pete. Watching Alexis from behind doing lat pull downs is a pure treat as is watching Avy’s beautifully round tits get fucked. If you survive that, you’ll have to navigate the waters of Charlie Chase and Phoenix Marie performing squats on the pool deck and an awesome shot of Charlie licking up cum off her own tits. Last and definitely not least, Mia Rose does her best Jennifer Beals Flashdance impression before grinding on Manuel Ferrera’s cock like a “maniac”. Perhaps the most passionate scene of the lot, Mia comes so hard you can almost see her eyes roll back into her head when she incapacitates herself with a vigorous orgasm.
There is so much going on simultaneously that watching this film, at times, can be a lot like that old Whack-a-Mole game you used to see in local pizza parlors. You’re not always sure where the action is going to happen, so you survey the entire landscape catching glimpses of objects that attract your attention. By the time you focus your energy somewhere in particular, you miss out on something happening elsewhere. Thank goodness for rewind buttons!
Just remember, if you ever feel tempted by Tae-Bo or persuaded by Pilates, save your money. Instead, break a sweat with “Pornstar Workout” because there are much better things you could be pulling than a hamstring.